-3 awesome people hopped in my car on a busy Saturday and missed out on all the Covenant festivities to road trip to Birmingham.
-We left an hour late because I forgot a few essentials and took a few wrong turns and none of them even cared.
-We jammed out to Brand New, Journey and S Club 7, only to name a few.
-We just laughed and drove and laughed for 2 solid hours.
-We were enveloped in clouds and small sprinkles.
-I told them that there would be food and there wasn't and we almost starved, but they loved me anyways
-We ate chicken strips and Famous Amos Cookies
-I met awesome people from all over Alabama that loved the same thing as me
-I finally got to see the 4 amazing people that have completely changed the way I think. Literally.
-We played Dabble and Sean said Dunder "Mufflin" and I almost peed my pants due to laughter
-Our team got to be named Gryffindor
-And we played against Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Voldemort
-And then we won against Slytherin after a 3 round tie (the way it always is)
-Our tie breaker was guessing someones age
-And Sean said we knew for sure that she was 1 year old because she had lived in Boston for 1 year
-And then I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants AGAIN
-And we won $50 and some books for AWERE
-Lauranne and I sat in the parking lot talking about my application and all my questions and concerns
-I got to hear stories of all the crazy things the 4 of them had done/witnessed
-I laughed so hard I cried (at least 4 times)
-My face literally hurt from smiling so much
-I got to drink 2 monsters (plus the 2 cups of coffee I had earlier that day)
-Charles sang along with and knew every word to S Club 7 (and every other 90s song we played)
-We car danced to Backstreet Boys, Brittany, and N'Sync
-We got to come back to a hodgepodge of awesome people playing incredible music
-And eat mallows
-And everyone kept asking why on earth we were so happy and we got to tell them over and over again
-Kayla and I stayed up until 2 am laughing the point of tears just thinking about the whole day
Mostly I just loved traveling with Emily, Kayla and Charles because they really made this trip epic.
And I so so loved getting to hang out with Bethany, Travis, Sean and Lauranne again. Words cannot describe how fabulous they are. I wish I could shrink them, stick them in my pocket and carry them around with me forever.
That whole day was just good. A perfect good. Even when we got off late coming and going and we took the wrong exits and we were sleepy and hungry--it was still so so good.
I love memories like these.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Be Still
These last two and a half weeks have been a nightmare. I felt like everything was falling apart. I had something big due almost everyday up til yesterday, which alone is enough to stress anyone out.
In addition to that it was Campus Preview Weekend, which meant campus was flooded with hundreds of high schoolers and prospective students. Among these hundreds were my cousin and my momma. It was great to see them and I had a blast, but it was right in between my 2 busiest weeks. I didn't get any sleep or do any homework while they were here, which made me a bit snappy toward the 2 of them. And they had traveled all the way from NM to see me. Gosh, I'm such a jerk sometimes.
My Roadie application was also due that weekend same weekend my mom and cousin were here. I was stressing to get that done while juggling school while trying to hang out with my family and planning IC club stuff. I don't know how people do it.
But that's not all. We had our first IC club meeting that week, and 7 people showed, not including Emily and myself. After a crazy and stressful week, this was enough to disappoint me. There was so much interest after the screening and I was really expecting big numbers. Even during the meeting though I could feel this bitterness break down as the 7 that did come thought of creative ideas for fundraisers and were really excited that Covenant now had something like this to become involved in. Emily and I set to work on organizing some of the things we had talked about in our meeting and it just seemed like 1 good idea was followed by 3 reasons it couldn't work. In one day, after hours of thought and energy and writing proposals we had an entire event (our costume 5k) fall apart and 1 band tell us they didn't want anything to do with a Covenant affiliated event and another band drop out of our benefit. I was also working on getting together a kickball team for the Deep South Tourney in Birmingham. It was the same weekend as homecoming so of course all of Covenant was either playing in the games, working the games or being great Scots and watching the games. All of these factors played a pretty significant role in my emotional well being to say the least. I was so frustrated that nothing was working out and people didn't seem to care about helping. I definitely didn't think leading a club would be this hard.
"Be still and know that I am God."
These words constantly rang inside my head.
I had been looking to my own abilities to find a solution-a new location for the race, a new band for the benefit, a new team for kickball, a creative way to get people to meetings, a new fundraiser. What I didn't do was stop and ask for guidance and wisdom. I just wanted so badly to do something big that I forgot the one who is bigger. I was so caught up in all the business that I didn't take time to be still.
My application deadline was extended 2 weeks. My mom still loves me even though I can get cranky and not fun to be around. I managed passing grades on all the tests/papers/projects I've gotten back so far. I got a phone call from the band that dropped out saying they could play now. We also found 2 others to play. We got a local ice cream shop to support Change for Change. We're working on smaller, more plausible fundraisers for now. And the 4 of us that went to Birmingham ended up being enough because kickball was canceled and we played games instead. We even won $50 and some books for Awere. And we got to spend the day with 4 roadie people that I just absolutely love and meet some more awesome folks.
Man, God is good. If only I would take the time to be still and see it.
In addition to that it was Campus Preview Weekend, which meant campus was flooded with hundreds of high schoolers and prospective students. Among these hundreds were my cousin and my momma. It was great to see them and I had a blast, but it was right in between my 2 busiest weeks. I didn't get any sleep or do any homework while they were here, which made me a bit snappy toward the 2 of them. And they had traveled all the way from NM to see me. Gosh, I'm such a jerk sometimes.
My Roadie application was also due that weekend same weekend my mom and cousin were here. I was stressing to get that done while juggling school while trying to hang out with my family and planning IC club stuff. I don't know how people do it.
But that's not all. We had our first IC club meeting that week, and 7 people showed, not including Emily and myself. After a crazy and stressful week, this was enough to disappoint me. There was so much interest after the screening and I was really expecting big numbers. Even during the meeting though I could feel this bitterness break down as the 7 that did come thought of creative ideas for fundraisers and were really excited that Covenant now had something like this to become involved in. Emily and I set to work on organizing some of the things we had talked about in our meeting and it just seemed like 1 good idea was followed by 3 reasons it couldn't work. In one day, after hours of thought and energy and writing proposals we had an entire event (our costume 5k) fall apart and 1 band tell us they didn't want anything to do with a Covenant affiliated event and another band drop out of our benefit. I was also working on getting together a kickball team for the Deep South Tourney in Birmingham. It was the same weekend as homecoming so of course all of Covenant was either playing in the games, working the games or being great Scots and watching the games. All of these factors played a pretty significant role in my emotional well being to say the least. I was so frustrated that nothing was working out and people didn't seem to care about helping. I definitely didn't think leading a club would be this hard.
"Be still and know that I am God."
These words constantly rang inside my head.
I had been looking to my own abilities to find a solution-a new location for the race, a new band for the benefit, a new team for kickball, a creative way to get people to meetings, a new fundraiser. What I didn't do was stop and ask for guidance and wisdom. I just wanted so badly to do something big that I forgot the one who is bigger. I was so caught up in all the business that I didn't take time to be still.
My application deadline was extended 2 weeks. My mom still loves me even though I can get cranky and not fun to be around. I managed passing grades on all the tests/papers/projects I've gotten back so far. I got a phone call from the band that dropped out saying they could play now. We also found 2 others to play. We got a local ice cream shop to support Change for Change. We're working on smaller, more plausible fundraisers for now. And the 4 of us that went to Birmingham ended up being enough because kickball was canceled and we played games instead. We even won $50 and some books for Awere. And we got to spend the day with 4 roadie people that I just absolutely love and meet some more awesome folks.
Man, God is good. If only I would take the time to be still and see it.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
A Beautiful Summer
Summer. This is the first time that I've written anything about those 3 crazy months, so it may be a bit scattered and lengthy.
I went home for the summer, something I wasn’t exactly wanting to do, but nothing else really worked out. I spent the first two weeks home job hunting. Yay. I put in application after application to anywhere I could think of. What I ended up with was a part time job at a hotel. It’s a nice hotel, the best in Las Cruces even, but as for the job…not so glamorous. I was housekeeping and laundry lady. And I worked evenings. Nothing like spending your summer nights washing nasty hotel sheets and cleaning up after rich people. I really didn’t like it and I was frustrated that I wasn’t being trained in other things, like I was told I would be. My friends told me to quit, my parents told me to stick it out and quit being so prideful. So I sucked it up and kept on working. I also took a summer class. Math. I went to class from 8:30-10 five times a week for five weeks. So between all the homework for that and working late nights I knew this would not be the summer I had anticipated.
But one of the biggest things I could never have foreseen was the hospitalization of my grandmother. She went in for back and stomach pain, which ended up being shingles and ulcers. Nothing that couldn't be treated, but things to be cautious of nonetheless. After a week or so there she was moved to rehab. She was only there about an hour. I got a text message just as I was lying down for a much needed nap. I wanted to ignore it, but I knew I couldn't' sleep unless I knew what it said. It read: “Mam-ma had a stroke, go to the hospital”. (Perhaps I should insert here that I was one of the only family members in town, as the rest were at camp in Colorado.) So I rushed to the ER to see my grandmother significantly paralyzed on her left side and unable to articulate any comprehensible speech. I’m 19. My family was gone. People were calling me for updates. How the heck was I qualified to answer them when I myself had so many questions and the nurses wouldn't give me the time of day?
I had to sign papers, make phone calls, try to find my dad a way back home, try communicate with my grandmother and give her what she needed, take care of the 2 houses I was watching, keep up with a fast paced summer class and work. This was insane. I spent hours and hours at the hospital: the ER, ICU, Telemetry. Room after room, hospital after hospital and rehab center after rehab center--it seemed like she was in every hospital in the city at least twice....oh right, because she was. Every great day of progress was followed by 2 bad days. Some days she would eat, others she couldn't. Some days she would walk, others she could hardly move. Some days she would talk, others she would just listen. Some days she was hopeful, others she was frustrated. But one thing never changed from day to day and that was her unwavering faith in her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I asked her what she did and thought about when she didn't have visitors. She said she recited Scripture over and over in her mind. And she prayed. She prayed for her kids, her grand kids, her church. She lived a life of constant prayer.
I saw her everyday this summer. Not because I had to, because I wanted to. I knew that when I left for Covenant I may not get the chance to just be with her again. She taught me so much in just a month and a half. I got to see a side of her that I had missed out on while I was selfishly busy with other things in my life. I saw her sense of humor, her love, her humility, her sincerity but most importantly, I saw Jesus in her. She would never want life to be about her or the things she had done, but her main goal in life was to honor and glorify her Savior and share the Gospel with her family. She made life about others. She gave everything. The ultimate servant.
I will never forget the last 36 hours of her life. The risks of busting her out of the hospital and taking her to her favorite (our favorite) place on earth were astronomical. We would be without monitors and hours from any hospital or clinic. The conditions would not be clean. It would be noisy. The idea of rest was highly unlikely. She would have to fully rely on my mom's nursing skills (which really isn't that hard, she's a great nurse). But when my mom sat down and firmly explained the risks to her she said, "Terri, I'm ready. I want to swing by Bloys on my home." Filled with tears and worry, my parents consented.
I went early to get our cabin in west Texas ready for her. Though some may have thought we should not have let her go, I will never think we did the wrong thing. It's exactly what I would've wanted if it was me. I will never forget that beautiful Friday night when I came back from church to find at least 40 family members standing outside our cabin singing hymns into Mam-ma's window. I will never be able to fully express what that hour or so meant/means to me and my family. It was beautiful and right and good. I remember my grandmother lying there, weak as ever, tapping her hand on her thigh to the music and even requesting songs!
It was amazing to be wrapped in so much love and to see all the people that had been so blessed by my grandmother give some of that back to her. She got to see her family and say goodbye to friends that would have otherwise been unable to make it to Las Cruces. She even slept the best she had in 2 months. It was exactly what she wanted.
She spent one night in her cabin and then my parents took her back home. I was going to stay in Texas another night to close up the cabin then come back early Sunday but an aunt told me that I did not have time and I needed to go back that day. I stayed a few extra hours to close and say goodbye to good friends and family. I got in late Saturday and decided to stay at my grandmother's, where my parents had been living, instead of going back to my aunts, where I had been living. That night my parents and my cousin Lecy sat around my Mam-ma's bed. We knew she did not have much time left. She was unable to speak, though we knew she could hear and understand. I read Psalm 121 and Psalm 28 to her (some of her favorite passages) and we spent some time in prayer. It was powerful. I had been avoiding my goodbyes, but I knew they had to be soon. I got to sit with her alone for a while that night. I could never have thanked her enough for everything she had done for me and I admitted that we would never be able to let her go, but that I knew she was ready and she needn't hold on any longer for us.
I hardly slept that night. It seems like none of us could. The next morning was Sunday. My dad played guitar and sang some songs. She was almost completely unconscious at this point, but as we sang and I held her hand she gently patted it with what little strength she could muster and we knew she was with us. She passed just a short time after that in the quiet of her own room in her own bed. It was peaceful. Easy. She was home, and just in time for church!
It was a beautiful process. Painful, but filled with joy and hope. She would hate for her life to be recognized as things she had done, but she would rather us focus on what her Savior has done. She showed me Christ in a new way and I am so thankful that I got to be there for it all. God's timing is perfect. He sent me home for the summer, he allowed me to be there when none of the other family could and he let me be there to say goodbye. God is so good and I forget it so often. I pray that I never forget how he has used my Mam-ma and the testimony she was able to be to me. I pray that I will constantly remember that my help is not of me or my strength, but that my help is of the Lord.
Psalm 121:1-2
I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heaven and earth.
I went home for the summer, something I wasn’t exactly wanting to do, but nothing else really worked out. I spent the first two weeks home job hunting. Yay. I put in application after application to anywhere I could think of. What I ended up with was a part time job at a hotel. It’s a nice hotel, the best in Las Cruces even, but as for the job…not so glamorous. I was housekeeping and laundry lady. And I worked evenings. Nothing like spending your summer nights washing nasty hotel sheets and cleaning up after rich people. I really didn’t like it and I was frustrated that I wasn’t being trained in other things, like I was told I would be. My friends told me to quit, my parents told me to stick it out and quit being so prideful. So I sucked it up and kept on working. I also took a summer class. Math. I went to class from 8:30-10 five times a week for five weeks. So between all the homework for that and working late nights I knew this would not be the summer I had anticipated.
But one of the biggest things I could never have foreseen was the hospitalization of my grandmother. She went in for back and stomach pain, which ended up being shingles and ulcers. Nothing that couldn't be treated, but things to be cautious of nonetheless. After a week or so there she was moved to rehab. She was only there about an hour. I got a text message just as I was lying down for a much needed nap. I wanted to ignore it, but I knew I couldn't' sleep unless I knew what it said. It read: “Mam-ma had a stroke, go to the hospital”. (Perhaps I should insert here that I was one of the only family members in town, as the rest were at camp in Colorado.) So I rushed to the ER to see my grandmother significantly paralyzed on her left side and unable to articulate any comprehensible speech. I’m 19. My family was gone. People were calling me for updates. How the heck was I qualified to answer them when I myself had so many questions and the nurses wouldn't give me the time of day?
I had to sign papers, make phone calls, try to find my dad a way back home, try communicate with my grandmother and give her what she needed, take care of the 2 houses I was watching, keep up with a fast paced summer class and work. This was insane. I spent hours and hours at the hospital: the ER, ICU, Telemetry. Room after room, hospital after hospital and rehab center after rehab center--it seemed like she was in every hospital in the city at least twice....oh right, because she was. Every great day of progress was followed by 2 bad days. Some days she would eat, others she couldn't. Some days she would walk, others she could hardly move. Some days she would talk, others she would just listen. Some days she was hopeful, others she was frustrated. But one thing never changed from day to day and that was her unwavering faith in her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I asked her what she did and thought about when she didn't have visitors. She said she recited Scripture over and over in her mind. And she prayed. She prayed for her kids, her grand kids, her church. She lived a life of constant prayer.
I saw her everyday this summer. Not because I had to, because I wanted to. I knew that when I left for Covenant I may not get the chance to just be with her again. She taught me so much in just a month and a half. I got to see a side of her that I had missed out on while I was selfishly busy with other things in my life. I saw her sense of humor, her love, her humility, her sincerity but most importantly, I saw Jesus in her. She would never want life to be about her or the things she had done, but her main goal in life was to honor and glorify her Savior and share the Gospel with her family. She made life about others. She gave everything. The ultimate servant.
I will never forget the last 36 hours of her life. The risks of busting her out of the hospital and taking her to her favorite (our favorite) place on earth were astronomical. We would be without monitors and hours from any hospital or clinic. The conditions would not be clean. It would be noisy. The idea of rest was highly unlikely. She would have to fully rely on my mom's nursing skills (which really isn't that hard, she's a great nurse). But when my mom sat down and firmly explained the risks to her she said, "Terri, I'm ready. I want to swing by Bloys on my home." Filled with tears and worry, my parents consented.
I went early to get our cabin in west Texas ready for her. Though some may have thought we should not have let her go, I will never think we did the wrong thing. It's exactly what I would've wanted if it was me. I will never forget that beautiful Friday night when I came back from church to find at least 40 family members standing outside our cabin singing hymns into Mam-ma's window. I will never be able to fully express what that hour or so meant/means to me and my family. It was beautiful and right and good. I remember my grandmother lying there, weak as ever, tapping her hand on her thigh to the music and even requesting songs!
It was amazing to be wrapped in so much love and to see all the people that had been so blessed by my grandmother give some of that back to her. She got to see her family and say goodbye to friends that would have otherwise been unable to make it to Las Cruces. She even slept the best she had in 2 months. It was exactly what she wanted.
She spent one night in her cabin and then my parents took her back home. I was going to stay in Texas another night to close up the cabin then come back early Sunday but an aunt told me that I did not have time and I needed to go back that day. I stayed a few extra hours to close and say goodbye to good friends and family. I got in late Saturday and decided to stay at my grandmother's, where my parents had been living, instead of going back to my aunts, where I had been living. That night my parents and my cousin Lecy sat around my Mam-ma's bed. We knew she did not have much time left. She was unable to speak, though we knew she could hear and understand. I read Psalm 121 and Psalm 28 to her (some of her favorite passages) and we spent some time in prayer. It was powerful. I had been avoiding my goodbyes, but I knew they had to be soon. I got to sit with her alone for a while that night. I could never have thanked her enough for everything she had done for me and I admitted that we would never be able to let her go, but that I knew she was ready and she needn't hold on any longer for us.
I hardly slept that night. It seems like none of us could. The next morning was Sunday. My dad played guitar and sang some songs. She was almost completely unconscious at this point, but as we sang and I held her hand she gently patted it with what little strength she could muster and we knew she was with us. She passed just a short time after that in the quiet of her own room in her own bed. It was peaceful. Easy. She was home, and just in time for church!
It was a beautiful process. Painful, but filled with joy and hope. She would hate for her life to be recognized as things she had done, but she would rather us focus on what her Savior has done. She showed me Christ in a new way and I am so thankful that I got to be there for it all. God's timing is perfect. He sent me home for the summer, he allowed me to be there when none of the other family could and he let me be there to say goodbye. God is so good and I forget it so often. I pray that I never forget how he has used my Mam-ma and the testimony she was able to be to me. I pray that I will constantly remember that my help is not of me or my strength, but that my help is of the Lord.
Psalm 121:1-2
I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heaven and earth.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Preface
Let me start of by saying this: I know nothing of blogging. I’ve read blogs, I subscribe to a few of them, but I don’t write them. So in the very plausible event that I ignore all standard blog etiquette, forgive me and be forewarned that I will probably ramble, make a trillion spelling mistakes and ignore proper syntax (and probably all at once)!
But let me also say what my vision is for this. My vision is to have a place to honestly share some of my muddled thoughts and express what I've been learning lately. I have a lot I want to post so I'm excited for that and hopefully it will be coming soon!
So join me, dear reader, as we embark on this journey together!
But let me also say what my vision is for this. My vision is to have a place to honestly share some of my muddled thoughts and express what I've been learning lately. I have a lot I want to post so I'm excited for that and hopefully it will be coming soon!
So join me, dear reader, as we embark on this journey together!
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