Be Still

These last two and a half weeks have been a nightmare. I felt like everything was falling apart. I had something big due almost everyday up til yesterday, which alone is enough to stress anyone out.

In addition to that it was Campus Preview Weekend, which meant campus was flooded with hundreds of high schoolers and prospective students. Among these hundreds were my cousin and my momma. It was great to see them and I had a blast, but it was right in between my 2 busiest weeks. I didn't get any sleep or do any homework while they were here, which made me a bit snappy toward the 2 of them. And they had traveled all the way from NM to see me. Gosh, I'm such a jerk sometimes.

My Roadie application was also due that weekend same weekend my mom and cousin were here. I was stressing to get that done while juggling school while trying to hang out with my family and planning IC club stuff. I don't know how people do it.

But that's not all. We had our first IC club meeting that week, and 7 people showed, not including Emily and myself. After a crazy and stressful week, this was enough to disappoint me. There was so much interest after the screening and I was really expecting big numbers. Even during the meeting though I could feel this bitterness break down as the 7 that did come thought of creative ideas for fundraisers and were really excited that Covenant now had something like this to become involved in. Emily and I set to work on organizing some of the things we had talked about in our meeting and it just seemed like 1 good idea was followed by 3 reasons it couldn't work. In one day, after hours of thought and energy and writing proposals we had an entire event (our costume 5k) fall apart and 1 band tell us they didn't want anything to do with a Covenant affiliated event and another band drop out of our benefit. I was also working on getting together a kickball team for the Deep South Tourney in Birmingham. It was the same weekend as homecoming so of course all of Covenant was either playing in the games, working the games or being great Scots and watching the games. All of these factors played a pretty significant role in my emotional well being to say the least. I was so frustrated that nothing was working out and people didn't seem to care about helping. I definitely didn't think leading a club would be this hard.

"Be still and know that I am God."

These words constantly rang inside my head.

I had been looking to my own abilities to find a solution-a new location for the race, a new band for the benefit, a new team for kickball, a creative way to get people to meetings, a new fundraiser. What I didn't do was stop and ask for guidance and wisdom. I just wanted so badly to do something big that I forgot the one who is bigger. I was so caught up in all the business that I didn't take time to be still.

My application deadline was extended 2 weeks. My mom still loves me even though I can get cranky and not fun to be around. I managed passing grades on all the tests/papers/projects I've gotten back so far. I got a phone call from the band that dropped out saying they could play now. We also found 2 others to play. We got a local ice cream shop to support Change for Change. We're working on smaller, more plausible fundraisers for now. And the 4 of us that went to Birmingham ended up being enough because kickball was canceled and we played games instead. We even won $50 and some books for Awere. And we got to spend the day with 4 roadie people that I just absolutely love and meet some more awesome folks.

Man, God is good. If only I would take the time to be still and see it.