I've been avoiding writing this post for a while now. Not because this will be news for any one of the two people who reads this (thanks Kayla and Emily, ya'll are the best) but because putting it down in writing means that I'm opening up that tightly locked compartment in the back of my brain and admitting that this is a whole lot harder than I let on.

Last night I got to witness the Invisible Children office via livestream when they got the news that they had won one million dollars from Chase Community Bank. The office was ecstatic. There were shouts of joy, laughter, tears, and of course, dancing. Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling" filled the entire office and boy, a good night it was indeed.

Obviously I love Invisible Children from the bottom of my heart, but what they did next made me love them even more. Jason Russell, tears choking his words, got up to speak. He admitted how easy it is to get caught up thinking that they are something extraordinary, that they deserved the million dollars. He said that it's so easy to forget the one that made it possible and to think that without Christ any of this could've happened. Then they prayed. They thanked God and prayed that they would be good stewards of the money and that he would be glorified in their work and how they spend the money.

I knew that the founders were all Christians and that many of the staff and interns are as well, but to see it so clearly displayed was such an encouragement. It was so cool to be able to watch that-to see that the very first thing they did was thank God for the money and ask that he would bless their use of it and make it go far beyond what any of us imagine. It was truly beautiful. I am so thankful for each of them and the work they are doing.

And yet as I watched I could not help but wish to be there with them-dancing, praying, celebrating and preparing for the Spring Legacy Tour. I could not help but look at the new batch of Roadies and picture myself there with them as my new family.

I understand why I couldn't join them for this tour and I know that they have 60 incredible people that are each there for a purpose. I know that I need to be here at Covenant and I'm actually super excited for the semester. I've been learning so much since Christmas that it's kind of unbelievable. I'm constantly learning and growing and being challenged. Urbana was huge for me. My Missions and Community Development classes are phenomenal and are constantly forcing me to think deeper. Invisible Children here at Covenant will continue to grow as a club, which will be exciting to be a part of. I've been extremely thankful for my roommates and friendships here at Covenant that have already grown deeper this semester. I know that God will use me and grow me even further this semester and I have to constantly remind myself that being here, rather than on tour, is all a part of his good and perfect plan. God, help me to believe and rest in that truth.